blame

playing the blame game is fun.

fun, that is, until you realize the long-term damage that can be done through the blame game.

for this particular topic, let us go back to the beginning.  ahh yes, the person i talked about in my very first post, ck.  his favorite saying was that he had the worst luck (when he’s on the table).  never his fault.  lord forbid you’re anywhere near him when he misses, cuz he might just make you the target of his ire.

improvement in his game?  nah.

if you can’t see past yourself, you can’t see the flaws and mistakes in your game.  when you’re perfect in your mind, you cannot learn.  period.

in pool and life, the sooner we start looking at ourselves for faults and imperfections, the greater the chance we will get better.  my previous post, “pride“, was really about shifting the focus away from self.  less selfishness, more selflessness.  a little less me, a little more you.  give more, take less.  it’s that simple.  now i’m not saying you should become the instant doormat; not by any means.  the world is a pretty mean place, and we should always be aware of those who will take advantage of others.  i am saying, however, that if you are (or i am) at fault, don’t be so quick to assign blame.  it’s very possible that you, not them, are the source of the problem.

there is this theory that when someone does something bad, our natural tendency is to assume that it’s due to the person’s inherent character.  when we do something bad, our natural tendency is to assume that circumstances, rather than our propensities, made us do it.  my asian friend told me this saying that i think sums up this theory perfectly:

if you do it, it’s an affair.  if i do it, it’s romance.

the mirror, when used as a tool to glorify the self as narcissus did, is a tool of destruction.

the mirror, when properly as a tool to see our flaws for the sake of improvements, is our best friend.

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6 comments on “blame

  1. You are correct. The road to improving ourselves begins with an open and honest assessment of our own actions, thoughts, and feelings. It requires a healthy dose of bravery to face up to our own weaknesses, but it is required if we really want to make improvements. Great article!

  2. “if you can’t see past yourself, you can’t see the flaws and mistakes in your game. when you’re perfect in your mind, you cannot learn. period.”

    I Agree. This CK person really got under your skin because he was your first post. I think pool is one of those sport / game that is very hard to perfect because uncalled for mistakes happens even at a professional level.

    In life, life is a journey where one keeps an open mind and learning things are just an everyday life.

    • ck didn’t get under my skin. i use it because it’s a convenient illustration for me, since i already talked about him before. call me lazy. 🙂

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