here are the real basics.  a pool hall is a public place.  so please, don’t stink.

please, when you leave your house, be clean.  your sweat-stained shirt is suitable for your closet.  the ratty pair of shorts with holes in them requires a furnace.  take a shower.  apply deodorant.  if you’re allergic to commercial deodorant, consider organic deodorant or eau de toilette/eau de parfum, merci.  brush your teeth.  wear clean cloths.  must i say this?

please cover yourself.  that abyssal b~*crack you’re so proud of is unfit for public display.  your fur-lined belly belongs with the local wildlife, not on municipal streets.  ladies, please refrain from the big reveal.  you don’t like us staring at you, don’t show us your various fleshy bits.  whale tails attract whale hunters, so don’t be the prey.  fupa pouches can be contained with appropriate restraints.  cover up.  this way, you’re happy & we’ll respect you.  oh, in case you actually don’t know, 6-inch stripper heels cause involuntary staring, and not in a good way.

also, please extend cleanliness to your language as well, ESPECIALLY when there are children around.  i’m sure you don’t want YOUR child/niece/nephew/little cousin/friend’s babies asking you what a m~f~* c~s~* is, so don’t do it to other folks.  and foul language is just downright grating.  we’re not blocks of cheeses, so spare us the fraying.  a little common decency and courtesy go a long way.

ugh.  i need a shower.

4 comments on “cleanliness

  1. You must have learned this from my Dad’s place back in the 1980s :). Seriously, he didn’t allow any of this, and people were routinely asked to leave if they became a public nuisance in any of the ways you mention above. He did an admirable job of elevating the pool hall into a family-friendly establishment.

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