i won i won i won!!! OH YEAH!!!!

our intrepid blogger and one-man pro quest, michael reddick, recently had a weird miss shot.  it looked like this.

upon posting this shot, he asked his readers to figure out why he missed, or at least why he thought he missed.  and moi, your humble puzzle-guesser-wrangler, correctly deduced the reason with the aid of many clues.  (the shot rolled off its intended path due to the nap, or the grain, of the cloth.)  muahahahahahahahaha.  after i demanded a merit badge the size of a dinner plate, michael responded with this over-the-top, kicka~*ly radical, er, response:

honestly though, the only thing i’ve heard that’s remotely similar to this roll would be on a snooker table, where the directional snooker cloth will slow down a ball going one way and speed up going the other.  on a pool table with simonis cloth, which has a very uniform weave and no discernible nap to speak of, i’m surprised the ball would roll off the way it did in michael’s shot.  i’ve never witnessed it in person, and in a sense i was glad that michael got to see something rare (even if this caused a miss).  man, i wish he had a camcorder or camera with him to capture this on video.

i’ll hang the certificate in the widget area.  this is the only proper way i can think of to display my award for all to see.

anyway, that’s the backstory of my totally kicka~* pool certificate.  shoot, maybe i am all kinds awesome.

*retch* *gag*

now that i’m writing a post, i might as well do an impromptu product review.  (dude!  am i turning into snarky??!!)

NIR super professional chalk

a quick little background: there are a couple of “super chalks” out there, both made by longoni of italy.  one is the blue diamond, and the other is the NIR super professional.  both chalks are said to stay on your tip much better, have magical properties that’ll make you deliriously happy, give girls bigger boobies, guys bigger equipments, gold pieces falling from sky, . . . you know.  it’s made with lsd.  😀

my friend got one box of this stuff, just like the pic above.  curious, i asked him to give me one so i could try it out.  after shooting me a middle finger, he said i could buy one for $2.50.  i had spare change from lunch so i went for it.  i dug out many pennies from my pocket.  much bitter cursing ensued.  😀

from pierluigi longoni (love that name!) of the longoni forum:

Blue Diamond is preferred by many pros, based on a old formula.  Nir is a product more recent based on more “aggressive” formula: stay much better on tip but makes the table and the balls a little bit more dirty.  (sic)

first, a quick description of the thing.  it looks smaller than your regular chalk.  not substantially smaller, but it’s like smaller by a few millimeters on all six sides, making the chalk look and feel cumulatively smaller.  i wonder if that’s why they sell it to you in boxes of threes: guilty conscience, maybe?  😛

when i got to the PH few days later, i busted out my expensive piece of jujube to give it a whirl.  as i applied it on the tip, i saw a small cloud of dust dropping from the piece of chit chalk, like a mini cloud of blue volcanic ash after an eruption, or a petite blue snowstorm.  boy, pierluigi(!) ain’t kidding when he said a “more aggressive formula”.  i think he really meant to say, “itsa stronger formulata wearas outa much-a fasta”.  i get this weird feeling the chalk will disappear after a couple months of use.  you’d definitely need three in a box.

with the dustiness factor, you’d be well served to adopt the snooker style of chalking as opposed to the more traditional technique (a la efren).  if you don’t, you WILL get chalk all over your hands & clothes.  watch some youtube videos to observe the difference between snooker-style and efren-style chalking.

but i must be honest: the NIR works as advertised.  i didn’t miscue once with this thing.  with master chalk, i typically miscue a few times during play.  it’s hard to explain, but the chalk does stay on the tip well.  i only wish the formula is less aggressive so it won’t wear out as fast.  supposedly the blue diamonds aren’t as dusty, so i’m assuming they’ll last longer.  i think i’ll have to ask ms. diep or da hammer about bd’s wear factor.

and the million-dollar question (or $8, roughly the price of a box of NIR): is it worth the money?  that’s really hard to answer; you’ll have to exercise your best judgment.  i mean, i was lucky to be able to buy just one to try.  the potential downside is that once you find it to work well, you’ll have to buy more of this expensive product, just like a coke addict.  (the beverage, folks.)  all i can say is that based on my experience, it works; it’s up to you to try, if you think it’s worth it.

i am sad to report that my equipment didn’t get any bigger as rumors would suggest; i suspect our female players that use this product shouldn’t hold their breaths for miraculously bigger boobies either.  hey, at least the chalk worked well.  now i’ll just have to wait for my buddy to get a box of that blue diamond stuff.  :mrgreen:

6 comments on “i won i won i won!!! OH YEAH!!!!

  1. Nice product review. I definitely want to try the new chalk, but it’s $2.50 more expensive than the chalk that I normally steal..oh, I mean, use… in my local PH. I guess if it gives me an edge, even just a psychological one, it might be worth the cost.

    • hard to say. ms. diep swears by the blue diamond stuff, and da hammer likes it too. longoni makes both the bd and NIR, and having tried the NIR i’m guessing bd would work equally well. maybe u can ask ms. diep to sell u one bd chalk to try out. 😛 not sure if she sells NIR though.

  2. Congrats on getting the answer right, you’re da man.

    As for the chalk, I’m sorry that your “equipment” did not get larger when you used the chalk.

    At $2.50 a pop, for pros it might be worth it, but for recreation players, it is probably a little bit on the steep end. Make sure when you play against somebody, you don’t share the chalk, first it’s way too expensive, secondly, you don’t want your opponent to have the same advantage. 🙂

    • it’s actually more than $2.50 since you’ll have to buy it in a box of threes. like i said, i got a little lucky. 🙂

      no way i’m sharing that chalk. but i’m sure i can charge by the swipe. say, 15 cents per swipe on the tip. :mrgreen:

  3. I confess, I like Blue Diamond. I keep it in a chalk holder and do not tell anyone its special. But, boy do I go crazy when I misplace my chalk-holder. I’m not sure I miscue less, but I love the way it feels when I chalk.

    If I were to get the “Super Professional” chalk, there’s no way I’d put it in a chalk holder. The name is way too funny to hide.

    • ahh, the stealth chalker. i’m currently trying to develop the routine of putting my chalk inside my pocket after i chalk, instead of placing it on the rail. (the chalk is inside a holder.) it’s hard to remember!! i put in on the rail a few times when i practiced the other day; good thing i was alone!

      the words “super professional” are too small to read; you’d have to get really close to see it. the bright-a~* yellow wrapper is a dead giveaway though. however, it is possible to mistake it for a triangle chalk. 😀 write ur name on it w a sharpie!!

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