amusing tidbits from people’s searches for shortcuts

i was checking out the azb forum, and came across these little ditties.  yeah, i know.  i don’t really like pool forums, but i do occasionally read them for fun.


i have to admit, it’s kind of amusing to watch people digging for shortcuts, in a sick look-at-that-dog-lick-its-b~*hole sort of way.  for example, a cursory search of “aiming system” on any pool-related forum will likely net you hundreds of tips and/or old wives tales.  trouble is, you don’t know which one is which.  and the deeper you read into a particular thread, the more confused you’ll become.

hey, what do you expect for free?

it is equally bad to search for “chalk” on pool forums.  from the kind of pigment used in a chalk to secret ingredients like dragon’s blood that’ll make a difference in your game, you will likely hear them all.  given enough time you’ll find folks marketing chalks made by hairy potter with the market price of 800 galleons and one knut.  what’s funny is that it’ll probably be sold out in two days.  in the interest of full disclosure, i’ve purchased blue diamond AND nir super professional chalks, and i have reviewed the nir chalks earlier in this blog.  (norditalia ricambi!  say it with an italian accent!!)  are they good chalks?  sure.  but pool, like many other hobbies, can be done on the cheap.  you can’t afford (or don’t want to afford) the bd chalks or that super spendy kamui powder?  ol’ tweeten makes fine products that will serve their purposes admirably, and most likely they’ll be free unless you play primarily in bars.  the price?  $3-$5 for a dozen, give or take.  as long as you chalk well before every shot, you will have no problems with master chalk, the old faithful in pool.  the point is, as long as you have no illusions that an expensive cube of jujube will give you special powers like an extra big stroke, sudden physical attractiveness, instantaneous acceptance by serious players, or a miracle source of conversation, feel free to purchase away.  a better cube of chalk (subjectively anyway) may give you a very slight edge because you may miscue a little less, but that’s it.  no chalk will let you hit 50 shots in a row without a miscue, or raise your game by four balls.  none.

cues?  just make sure you get a chance to hit with it before you buy one; don’t buy it if you don’t like the hit.  consider the following scenario.

car salesman: welcome!  are you interested in a car today?
you: i’d like to purchase that white suv there.
salesman: great!  just step into my booth and we’ll draw up the contract.  i’ll have you outta here in 15 minutes.
you: don’t i need to test drive it first?
salesman: what for?  it’s right there.  you saw it.  she’s a beaut.  you’ll only waste time by test driving it.  it’s much quicker if you just sign the contract so you can take it home.
you: yeah, you have a point.  let’s do it.

yes, you too can purchase a cue this way.  satisfaction guaranteed!

as far as aiming systems go, as i discussed before in a previous post, there is no magical technique, including mythical aiming systems, that will suddenly make you better.  (do you detect a repeating theme here?)  before you go off in the wild blue yonder to search for “the best aiming system on the planet, period,” remember that visual images are interpreted.  the guy playing next to you won’t see the aim point like you do, meaning that his aiming system may be completely useless to you even if that guy is efren.  if you’re really confused, don’t be such a cheapa~* and spend some money on a good coach to work the problem out.  hey, if you skip that fancy chalk and the nifty deflection-free shaft, there’s your cash for lessons.  looking for a new system just because your old system didn’t work instantaneously?  good luck with that.  i hear pool forums have all the answers.

we all have choices.  be wise or be a fool.

lastly, in an effort to make things not so depressing, here’s a video of a kid dancing his a~* off.  he got moves.

4 comments on “amusing tidbits from people’s searches for shortcuts

  1. People can dream right? Great examples with the pool cue and pool secrets. For the “pool secrets” one, at least the person realized that it was a terrible title for the post. Now, the people who took the question seriously are the silly ones, don’t you think?

    • you’re probably right. and the answers they give are probably unreliable.

      the ones i showed were just a sampling of what people ask. sometimes i wonder if people just want the miracle fix for free. it’s probably human nature to want to get something for nothing; we all probably do it at one time or another. it’s just amusing to me that instead of practice, people spend more energy on shortcuts instead.

  2. Just take a look at the dieting industry (or golf). Everyone wants something for nothing.

Comments are closed.